It’s an “ii o-tenki” day at Hello Kitty Land. Ronan is content with riding the Sanrio Choo-Choo train, but Carmina grows bored and drags him, kicking and screaming, into the Tokyo Goth Haunted House. The duo is strapped into seats and about to launch into pitch darkness –-quick! Climb in and join us on our terrifying ride. (Remember, the following commentary is made with tongue firmly in cheek. Photos from Style Arena.)

Suddenly, a ghoul materializes and bares his fangs.

BOTH: Ahhhhhhhh!
CARMINA: Wait, it’s only DJ Chihiro! Doesn’t he look spook-tastic?
RONAN: I’m just concerned for his health. Is it infected?
CARMINA: You mean the dripping blood? I’m pretty sure it came from someone else’s body.
RONAN: Oh, well in that case, it all makes sense. Thanks.
CARMINA: Doo itashimashite.
RONAN: This reminds me of an extremely (i.e., not very) on-point anecdote, in which I was listening to a song with a close friend of The Committee and she insisted a critical pre-chorus lyric was “I need my eye medicine!”, which is really an alarming and not very eloquent thing to throw into a pop song, you know?
CARMINA: Err…
RONAN: So we had a disagreement about that. Okay, that wasn’t very on-point, now was it? As promised.
CARMINA: Right then… moving along…

Flames shoot from the walls as the ride enters “Satan’s Lair.” An undead lady pops out of a cave and bats her eyes.

CARMINA: Those devil-tails could put out someone’s eye… and she wears them as lashes!
RONAN: She’s a brave one.
CARMINA: Ah, notice – she wears contact lenses with giant white highlights. They make her look like an anime character.
RONAN: True. This looks like a lot of effort went into it. I can get behind that.

The ride plummets into a haunted circus; Carmina, being deathly afraid of clowns, clings to Ronan.

CARMINA: Hey, this pierrot isn’t so scary! She’s a cross between drag queen and… Dragon Queen.
RONAN: This is actually sort of cute. Reminds me of Fellini’s La Strada… Giulietta Masina! She was so cute!
CARMINA: I’m more frightened by the “Yes We Can” poster behind her.
RONAN: I think they probably need a better Obama reference photo. But I appreciate the effort.

The next spook: a dark nymph with a hypnotic stare.

CARMINA: I like her ruby red hair color.
RONAN: I don’t know how I feel about the extra-wide mouth. What’s up with that?
CARMINA: It’s Jack Skellington theatricality. Notice the fake gashes on her arm. Or are they real?
RONAN: Yeah, not sure about the whole mutilation-chic aesthetic.

The ride courses through the Vampire theme restaurant.

CARMINA: At least this girl got stitched back up. I am a fan of the dramatic bottom lashes.
RONAN: Those are pretty decent contacts, from a technical perspective. They don’t have the dot matrix effect you get with cheap costume contacts. So, you know, well done etc etc.
CARMINA: The ride’s over. Are you ready to join the party? I can razor off your eyebrows and half your head of hair, and stitch your mouth back up after slicing it open…
RONAN: …Maybe next time.

But there is no next time. With arms outstretched and fangs bared, the J-spooks slither towards their oblivious victims… auggghhh!
(For more non sequitur fashion commentary, check out this blog category.)

A few J-rock/Visual Kei notes… (you can see daily updates on my Twitter):
† Jasmine You, the bassist of the magnificent group Versailles, has to suspend tour/recording activities due to poor health! Sending good thoughts to Jasmine and the band. (I was blown away when I saw them live last year.)
† Kanon Wakeshima recently performed in San Francisco and sat down for a long interview with Global Comment. Read about her thoughts on Gothic Lolita style and Mana.
† I photographed Somnium in Tenebris in Kokusyoku Sumire’s cafe for my Theme Restaurants book. To celebrate the launch, her team Sakura Syndrome (a Greece-based promoter of Japan music/culture) is featuring the band and my book this month. Check out the site for more info.