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READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, NO MONEY FOR BRAND CLOTHES, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI.


READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI. people making fun of gothic lolitas, teasing, loli fail, lolita fail, Japanese harajuku flyers, pretty lolita models, budget fashion egl community, livejournal lolita, cgl 4chan

Dear La Carmina,
I would like some advice on something. My question is whether or not to go Lolita. You see, I would really love to go into the fashion, but I’m sorta scared (although it does help a little bit to be able to read some of the Japanese sites). Partially because I’m afraid my parents wouldn’t approve and if it happens, teasing. Not only that, but I’m only 13 (which makes me have no income and no possibility to get a job) and I live on the East Coast (where there is not much influence from japan). I really appreciate any advice you have on the matter (and, THANK YOU for having such an awesome blog).
– Signed, A troubled Reader

READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI. people making fun of gothic lolitas, teasing, loli fail, lolita fail, Japanese harajuku flyers, pretty lolita models, budget fashion egl community, livejournal lolita, cgl 4chan

Dear reader,
Please don’t be troubled! Lolita isn’t scary, and wearing the fashion doesn’t have to be like jumping off a bridge. As with any journey, the best way to go forth is by taking baby steps and enjoying every moment of the ride.

I personally don’t think that “entering into Lolita” is an all-or-nothing leap. There’s no rulebook that states you must own certain items or wear expensive Japanese brands to enter this lovely world. Instead, you can make Lolita a part of your life in many small ways. And the further you explore this wonderland, the more your confidence will grow.

READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI. people making fun of gothic lolitas, teasing, loli fail, lolita fail, Japanese harajuku flyers, pretty lolita models, budget fashion egl community, livejournal lolita, cgl 4chan

No pocket money? No access to Tokyo Lolita brands like Victorian Maiden? None of these should stop you from celebrating Lolita in your own personal way. Take, for example, Gothloli of the Week Anastasiya who is from Russia. She says, “I try to do my best with what I’ve got. Like making my bedroom as cute as possible.” You can do the same: put Mana-sama photos on your wall (like I did), kawaii toys on your bed, hand-made candy and crucifix necklaces on the wall.

Or you can also make tiny “tips of the hat” to Lolita fashion in your daily wear. For example, you might wear a big bow in your hair, or doll eyelashes, or a cute dress similar to the ones in the Milk catalogue above. My friends and I like to mix Lolita influences into our clothes; we don’t believe you have to look like an Angelic Pretty model in order to genuinely enjoy the fashion.

READER QUESTION: SHOULD I WEAR LOLITA FASHION? DEALING WITH TEASING, PARENTS DISAPPROVING OF GOTHLOLI. people making fun of gothic lolitas, teasing, loli fail, lolita fail, Japanese harajuku flyers, pretty lolita models, budget fashion egl community, livejournal lolita, cgl 4chan

What about teasing and family disapproval? I’m not going to lie to you — even in the most open-minded cities, you’ll encounter stares and harsh words when you wear alternative fashion. But my friends and I keep strong because we must! Holding back this means of self-expression would crush us; it would reduce us to shells of ourselves. And you’ll discover a type of magic in having a “crew of spooks”, loving alternative fashion/lifestyles and celebrating it together. It’s something that someone in a Polo shirt would never experience.

But all that will come later. Remember, trying Lolita fashion shouldn’t feel like a fall down a hill, but a stroll through a rose garden. You can make Loli a part of your life in many subtle ways. So take your time, feel it out and let it slowly enrich your life. Good luck!

Everyone, what would you advise to this reader? How do you make Lolita fashion a part of your life?

If you have a question for La Carmina, email me (gothiccarmina {at} gmail) and I’ll answer it in a blog post. You can read my previous responses to Reader Questions here. (All the above images are flyers I picked up in Tokyo and Osaka.)

Japanese Word of the Day: Kinjo = Neighborhood
Song of the Day: Kaizers Orchestra – Maestro (Gasmasks!)

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READER QUESTION: TIPS ON PLANNING TRIPS TO JAPAN? CHEAP TOKYO HOTELS, TRAVEL ADVICE & BARGAINS.

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Hey,
Sorry if you get questions like this all the time and it’s not exactly linked to Lolita, but I was just wondering how you organise your trips to Japan and the attitude there. I really want to go, but I’m not quite how to get organise hotels and travel since I don’t speak japanese. Do you have any advice on getting bargains and organising travel to avoid any mistakes and confusion? Also, I have traveled back home from Hong Kong by myself and have been randomly checked which scared the crap out of me. Please tell your not more likely to get randomly checked for wearing lolita or ‘strange clothing.’ I can’t wait to use your lolita shopping guide :3 Thanks in advance and I heart your blog ^^
– Nakayoshia

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Most excellent questions, my dear! Since I constantly fly to Tokyo for work, I’ve picked up quite a few travel tips. First off, don’t feel intimidated by going to Japan alone — even if you don’t know the language. The stories about friendliness and cleanliness are true. If you’re sticking to major cities and tourist areas, you won’t run into problems getting around. (Photos in this post by Qhoto.)

† Entry visa: Do you need one? Most likely not, but it’s a good idea to check. Same goes with immunizations (I got an optional Hepatitis A shot to be safe).
† Plane tickets: Japan is great all year round, but I try to avoid holidays if possible (since flights are cheaper in the off-season). Spring is crunch time because of sakura season and the Japanese school holiday. From North America, I try to book a direct flight (usually Japan Airlines), but I don’t mind stopping in San Francisco.
† Hotel: TokyoTopia has one of the best guides to cheap hotels. Try to stay in Shinjuku, Shibuya, Ikebukuro, or somewhere the Yamanote (green) subway line. Sakura Hotel has several locations and some of the best deals around; book early, as rooms fill up fast.
† Money: Don’t forget to call your credit card company before you leave, to let them know you’ll be in Japan (or they might freeze your account due to unusual activity!) I exchange money into yen before I fly to Japan; most places accept major credit cards, but it’s a good idea to have a stash of cash on hand.

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(Top left: Ruki of The Gazette cosplay!)
† Getting from the airport to the hotel: I usually take a ¥3000 Limousine Bus from Narita Airport to Shinjuku Station West Exit, or wherever I’m headed. You can buy a ticket at the counter as soon as you leave the baggage claim (the staff speaks English; to schedule a return trip, call +81-3-3665-7220). Then, you may have to take a taxi from the drop-off to your final destination. Tip: write down the hotel’s address in Japanese and show it to your driver, to avoid any communication breakdown!
† Sightseeing: TokyoTopia has subway maps, neighborhood guides, and everything else you need to get around. Street and subway signs are in English as well as Japanese. Most people don’t speak English, so I’d suggest carrying a basic phrasebook (such as this one) and learning helpful phrases, such as “sumimasen, eki wa doko desu ka” (“excuse me, the station is where”… That way, the person can at least point in the correct direction).
† Don’t forget to study my Gothic Lolita Punk Shopping Guide, which includes photos and descriptions of the key stores in Harajuku and Shinjuku! Also peruse my Goth Cyber Club Guide, which includes address, directions, maps and links.

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As for cultural attitudes, shinpai shinaide — worry not! Nobody will confront you or make you feel uncomfortable about the way you dress. And there won’t be random checks; if you’re obviously a foreigner, the police and authorities won’t give you a second glance. Of course, in any city, it’s best to not stir things up, but Japan is one of the least likely places you’ll encounter trouble for wearing “unusual” clothes.

I always encourage my friends to travel to Japan, even if they don’t know much about the language or culture — and every single time, they return gushing about the experience. So go! Please feel free to write to me if you have a Reader Question; you can be as off-topic as you please. Do you have any tips or questions about travelling to Japan? Let me know in the comments.

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Speaking of open attitudes towards lifestyles… there’s an article in Japan Today about the Hibari-tei drag maid cafe where Yukiro works!

As I announced on my Twitter, I’m getting a haircut/color in early January — any suggestions? Visual Kei and Gothloli styles are always welcome… send me links and photos.

Song of the Day #270: Dead End – Danse Macabre (from “Ghost of Romance” album, 1987. Devil horns, baby.)

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