Ronan requested The Committee’s assistance in finding him a new jacket, and so we browsed the Urban Outfitters website together. I grew bored with his indecision and began clicking on the women’s apparel links. I rarely visit Urban – I try to avoid wearing anything you might see on another human being – but this t-shirt with a laser cutout of a spider web ($30) caught my attention. I prodded Ronan: “Buy it for meee!” He immediately logged off.

If you can’t convince boys to buy you clothes, you’ll simply have to deconstruct them yourself. I dragged out an old Lithium dress from 2005; it was a rejected clothing sample, and for good reason – I was never able to make it work (top right). Time for some scissors action.

I turned the dress inside-out, traced a cobweb on the back, and carefully cut it out. I decided to wear the dress reverse-forward, which transforms it into a corset…

…with trailing Gothic Aristocrat tuxedo tails! I wore the spider corset over a white, long-sleeve Banana Republic top, a Betsey Johnson lace-and-bows skirt…

…and a ridiculous Gothic Rococo meets Kentucky Derby hat. (You may recognize this monstrosity from my Vancouver Sun newspaper interview.) I picked up the huge-brimmed hat in NYC’s Garment District (around $25), and clipped on a silver fabric flower and gauzy grey fabric for a veil. It sits on the world’s spookiest hatstand – a mannequin head that I decorated to look like (no joke) DJ Chihiro of Tokyo Dark Castle. The decapitated DJ serves a dual function… I’ll spill the beans in a later post.

So, Ronan, I can make my own spider top, thank you very much. Now if only I could turn stale leftovers into sashimi…