Month Archive for February 2010
ALTERNATIVE CLOTHING STORES, SHOPPING ON MELROSE IN LOS ANGELES: COSMO OF FLASHER & SPEED BOUTIQUES.
Gather round, children, and listen to the twisted tale of the Adventure Team’s shopping trip! We began the mission by posing fiercely in Santa Monica. (I stole Lemon’s velvet navy blazer with gold military buttons. Ementhy stole my grey skull scarf.)
Look what we found in the Giant Robot store on Sawtelle: my Crazy, Wacky Theme Restaurants book, which has a full-page color photo of Yukiro as the Cheshire Cat! (You know you want a copy… click here for info.)
Onwards to Melrose, one of my favorite LA shopping spots for vintage/alternative/Goth clothing. There’s free parking in the side streets (you’ll want to hit the Melrose strip between Spaulding and Formosa). In a used CD store, I picked up a little something by The Creatures.
Being cash-strapped means we go nuts for anything free — so when we heard that The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf was giving out free chai lattes between 4-7pm, we arrived on their doorstep at 4:01.
While Yukiro tried on flaming black and white pants, Lemon and K made beckoning hand sweeps.
Danger! Danger! We wandered into Speed, the Melrose lair of Liza-Minelli-flamboyant Cosmo. He grabbed my boys and started dressing (and molesting) them like Barbie dolls, all the while spewing “scandalacious” one-liners in a scratchy voice…
“It’s like you’ve got gonorrhea and God gave you a lifetime supply of Vagasil. It’s like you call your crack dealer and all they’ve got left is Vagasil. It’s so f*#%-ing sick, it’s totally SICK!”
Cosmo made sure to primp and fondle the boys until they looked “Vagasil, like so totally SICK.” When he couldn’t zip up Lemon’s $600 jacket, he tore it off…. and flung it onto the sidewalk! (Dramatique!)
Cosmo whispered to Ementhy (center): “I’ll give you this jacket free in return for a blow job.” He winked and jabbed his thumb towards the back: “There’s a bathroom over there.” (Choose Your Own Adventure time: did Ementhy take him by the hand and lead him to toilet? Or did he back away slowly, slowly?)
Cosmo’s second in command was a bouncing Asian boy who sang, “Tutus, we’ve got tutus!”
Here is the finished result. Are you laughing as hard as I am?
Time for a nap and Tao Te Ching readings… until the next adventure!
Have you been to Speed or Flasher, Cosmo’s boutiques on Melrose? Do you have any strange and fabulous stories of over-zealous store clerks?
Song of the Day #314: Gackt – Black Stone (for the raven-haired K, who always poses like his beloved Gackto!)
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RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE VIEWING PARTY: MORGAN & RAVEN DRAG QUEEN LIVE PERFORMANCES, MICKY’S WEST HOLLYWOOD. SEASON 2 CONTESTANTS.
Start your engines! Can I get an AMEN for RuPaul’s Drag Race, the reality TV contest to find the next drag queen superstar? Yukiro reports on the viewing party and live performances, held every Monday at Micky’s in West Hollywood! Take it away… and remember… don’t f#*% it up!
I’m a big fan of the RuPaul’s Drag Race, so naturally I was panicking with my make-up till the last minute (I couldn’t bear to look less stunning than tonight’s queens!). My lovely partner-in-crime La Carmina and I decided to go to the official TV screening party, hosted by Raven and Morgan from this season’s show. We finagled good seats and watched the show with a cheering gathering of gay-guys (some of whom had even had made their own fan-shirts to pay tribute to their favourite competitor). In the commercial breaks, they had some amusing Absolute Vodka ads featuring season one’s winners (since they are one of the sponsors, “proud of Sweden”). After the episode, they aired some raw bitching-behind-the-scene material called “Untucked” — where RuPaul wore a hideous moustache! What was going on in that queen’s head?
After, everyone gathered around the stage for live performances. The fierce ladies were not going to “lip-synch for their lives,” but pull off a show that we’ll won’t forget for a long while. Raven entered in a smoking-hot glittery outfit with a capuche and cigarette in hand, lip-synching with a fierce gaze at the audience. She then chatted dirty with the audience, which made us laugh and drop open our jaws.
Morgan did a superb upgraded version of the Stacey Q lip-synch she had to do against Sonique in that night’s episode. She and all the queens were drowned in tips from their rabid fans.
In between the outfit changes, some random drag-queens took the stage. First we had Lorraine, an older “Dame Edna” who did a slightly humorous act. After, the fabulous all-over plastic Bianca-Nichole did a hardcore strip-show and was not afraid to shake that voluptuous ass. She had a girth that only those who live in the Hills can afford! Then two sluttily-dressed-boys entered the stage and danced like they had never done anything else. It was impressive at the moment, but their glory quickly faded after we saw some better pieces of art.
Despite another marvellous glamorous lip-synch from Raven and the others, tonight’s queen was crowned. In one of the last numbers, Morgan came out with an “Evil Queen” costume from Snow White — and my pinball wizard lights lit up. (I had just seen the Disney film in English for the first time on the plane here.) Morgan started off by miming to the actual recorded voice of The Evil Queen when she demands her magical mirror. She started a furious dance number and it was so overwhelming you could barely breathe. She jumped and spun around her cape in all directions; it was like beauty in it’s truest form. In spite of the thick garment that enfolded her, Morgan’s dance-moves were extremely quick and highly developed. I am hard to impress when it comes to impersonations of my favorite characters, but this showgirl did it splendidly. I was moved by her performance so much that I had to sit down a bit to catch my breath after the act. I also got the chance to speak my mind to her and get a picture (happiness!).
This was not just a night of gorgeous drag queens in eye-catching outfits; this was live entertainment in its highest form. Simply, it was a performance to die for! Next Monday, you’ll find me among the geeks with a “Go Morgan” fan-shirt in the front row.
Thank you, dear Yukiro, for the breathtaking report! Who are your favorite drag racers? Any predictions for who will take home RuPaul’s crown?
Our friends Kynt and Vyxsin (the Goth contestants on The Amazing Race) are taking part in a Sick and Twisted fashion show in Seattle on Feb 27! You’ll see them in punk, industrial, cybergoth/rave, fetish, Japanese street fashion, Goth, glamrock and more. Free and 21+; click here for the full info. Say hi to them from us!
Song of the Day #313: The Knife – Pass This On (“because its Swedish, Raven sang it and there’s a beautiful drag queen in the video”)
LA CARMINA
